Jan's New Book

Sex...why we can't get enough, until we come home to love
There isn't enough sex to satisfy our need for love. But we keep trying to make it enough; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody.

Somebody gets us! And that's the love we want ... but the boundaries automatically go up again. We're left wanting. And we Band-aid our dissonance, until it drives us to heal our wounds. Then we can share our nakedness as the best of who we are, to know authentic love--with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute. Other Books Available Now

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Jan’s Latest Post

All of your other relationships reflect your relationship with YOU!

Whether I write about breaking up or compatibility or communication, it always comes down to the same thing — know and love who you are; so that you can share all of you with enthusiasm and be at peace, regardless of the outcome. It makes sense, then, that the title of my last book is “Innately Good…dispelling the myth that we’re not.”
When we spend enough quality time to get to know who we are, we realize how wonderfully made we are! But that means stopping the busyness, all the excuses we find not to be alone with ourselves, and all of our efforts to make ourselves good enough — with another promotion, a bigger house, a trip, even meeting the needs of others, so that we don’t have to face our own. The reason we’re so busy is that we can’t get enough of whatever we fill our lives up with, to make us happy. We keep adding more and more and more.
When we break away from the treadmill, we find out that everything we were looking for — nothing more than happiness, really — was right there within us all along. The only way to be happy is to be true to what’s inside.… More

Do What Can’t Be Left Undone FIRST!

The most important thing you can do on a date (before or after marriage) is connect. Make it your priority–do it before you sit down to a seven-course dinner, watch a movie, or exhaust yourself. Look into each other’s eyes, talk from the deepest place inside of you, share what you’re afraid to share, frolic, kiss, snuggle, and be still. Connect! … More